Thursday, April 27, 2017

I Can't, I'm Sick

It all started on a Friday night...

This could be the opening line to a story far more interesting than this.

ellen page celebrity gif
I was at work on Friday night when I felt the first symptoms...a little stuffy, a little sore throat, a little achy. I decided to handle it like all my other problems in life- ignore it until it becomes impossible to ignore any longer.

So I go about business as usual except I up my daily dose of Vitamin C by approximately 1000% and take Zicam whenever I can remember, which isn't how it works most effectively in case you were wondering. But usually, that's
enough to kick any cold to the curb! This one, however, was special.

I have been home for the past 48 hours unable to breathe through my nose and counting down the minutes until I can take more pseudoephedrine.

And here's a list of some of my goals/accomplishments/activities.

1. I have only ordered delivery TWICE! Although I would be lying if I said Seamless wasn't open in another tab at this moment. I ordered super spicy ramen while watching the Chef's Table episode on Ivan Ramen. Life imitating my current Netflix series binge. Profound, I know.

2. I watched the entirety of 13 Reasons Why. Didn't cry once. Maybe it's the cold meds? Maybe I don't have a soul? You decide.

3. I made a CVS run and returned with a gallon of orange juice, which is now gone, and a pint of Ben and Jerry's, which is also gone.

4. I am having mixed feelings about Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt but the binge continues...

5. I played all the Broadway lotteries and LOST. It's probably for the best but STILL.

6. I have read all about the Whole 30 and will be so prepared when I finally decide to start but it can't be until I'm feeling at least 98% better so...stay tuned.

7. I have contemplated my life's purpose. Moving to Europe or embarking on an "Eat, Pray, Love"-esque quest were both seriously considered multiple times over.

8. I have done lots of Instagram stalking...surprise! My friends/people I follow have truly fabulous lives. Also, there definitely were a few slip-ups here and there so apologies for any random likes coming from me in the last few days! Oopsie.

Funny GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

9. I have made myself feel incredibly guilty for not being able to exercise and even googled "best exercises to do while sick".

10. I have seriously contemplated buying a bunch of fruit to eat since I can't taste anything anyway. For those of you just joining me in life, fruit is my least favorite food category and I avoid it at all costs unless it's smothered in chocolate and even then, there's no guarantee I'll be fooled.  
11. I'm seriously considering asking Kleenex to sponsor me/hire me as their spokesperson since I seem doomed to be perpetually stuffy/chained to a box of tissues at all times.

We are now on Day 3 of quarantine and I was hoping I'd have funnier/more exciting things to write about than this but being sick is awful and really not that exciting. And to think I used to fake being sick when I was a kid just so I could have one of those grape flavored lollipops that me and only like two other people even liked! Well, lesson learned! 

Honestly...not sure what the lesson was/is but that can be said about a few things going on in my life currently. 

I would like to thank pseudoephedrine for giving me the courage/wreckless abandonment to get back to blogging. Also, thank you for helping me tackle that one scene in sophomore acting with Malcolm because it may be some of my best work to date.

Until next time!