Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Champagne > Emotions

I love weddings.
I love love.
Weddings are fleeting.
Love is forever.
What happens when it's over?
What happens when it's over?
The afterparty.
The aftermath.
Worth the hangover?
Worth the heartache?
Champagne problems are a simple.
Emotional problems are complicated.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Tough Pills to Swallow


  • Money doesn't fix everything.
  • The Serenity Prayer
  • "I haven't been trying for a while."
  • "No."
  • "You are not for everyone."
  • Nostalgia
  • Break-ups
  • Dreams fade
  • Taxes
  • The end of an "era"
  • Leaving an old home
  • Leaving an old life
  • I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
  • My parents don't know it all.
  • I am going to have to answer some things for myself.
  • I cannot do it all.
  • It's ok to ask for help.
  • It's ok to accept help even if you didn't ask for it.
  • Mom was right- vegetables are really good for you.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Love Was

Love was a lazy morning after a busy night,
swapping stories over $1 pizza and gelato,
Clos Rougeard before coffee.

Love was going to see every Pixar movie in theaters,
letting you win the round of mini golf,
forcing me to bowl without bumpers on my 24th birthday.

Love was COS Cerasuolo in plastic cups and burgers on the terrace,
pregaming dinner with champagne and a cheese plate,
taking dessert to-go a la John Legend and Chrissy Teigen.

Love was Federal Donuts' fried chicken for breakfast two days in a row,
buying all the Savart in that wine shop in Portland,
and somehow hiding it from me so every bottle was a surprise.

Love was leaving the island for pizza in the middle of the day,
holding me close even in an empty train car,
chases up the escalator.

Love was a surprise passing on the street,
throwing a bridge over people we passed when we held hands,
the profane term of endearment we adopted.

Love was in the drunk dials,
and the fights,
and the tears,
and the make-ups,
and the break-ups.

Love was there, right?
In the little things?
Even at the end?
Even now.
Somehow the little things are the hardest to let go.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

A Statement of Beliefs

I believe in change
and that it's the only guarantee in life.

I believe everyone has something to say
and anyone can be a writer.

I believe that parents are doing the best they can
and there is no single right way to raise a child.

I believe in intuition
and listening your gut.

I believe in pushing the reset button
and taking steps backward to move forward.

I believe in anxiety
and no one is immune from it.

I believe in an occasional indulgence
as long as you're not hurting anybody.

I believe in celebrating small victories
and no celebration is complete without champagne.

I believe in travel
and unlimited vacation days.

I believe in love
and that it makes the mess of life worthwhile.

I believe genuine laughter is infectious
and the world needs more of it.

I believe dancing is the best medicine
and you can never overdose.

I believe in dessert
and you can even have it before dinner.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Trying

I am upset with you.
I am hopeful for you.
Aren't we on the same team?
Don't we want the same thing?
I am trying.
Are you trying?
Nothing worthwhile comes easy.
Everything worthwhile brings joy.

Happiness

Why is happiness so hard?
Why do I put so much pressure on happiness?
On discovering happiness?
On attaining happiness?
On cultivating happiness?
On being happy alone?

What if happiness was my natural state?
Wasn't it like that when I was a kid?
What happened?
Life?
Life has a way of killing us, doesn't it?
How many times have I been told, "You're killing me."?

Why am I ever anything but happy?
Because without pain or suffering or discomfort,
there can be no joy or bliss or happiness, right?
Is it even humanely possible to be happy all the time?
Remember learning Newton's laws of motion?
Law #3: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
So if there's any truth to that,
which I believe there to be,
good times ahead.

Patience would be a handy virtue right about now.
Anybody have any to spare? 

Monday, May 7, 2018

Brave

There are some things that are unquestionably wrong, right?
Or is everything up to interpretation?

Growing up, I went to a tiny Catholic school.
I may not remember everything they tried to teach me 
but I do remember the Golden Rule.
"Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you."
Apparently there is also a Silver Rule that states,
"Do nothing to others you would not have done to you."
Same concept just framed with negations.
So how do I proceed when someone I love
breaks the rules?

I'm learning that I cannot "fix" people.
It's not my job to tell them what to do
or how to be.
But shouldn't I make them aware of what they inspire?
If people are aware, it gives them the opportunity to change.
If people aren't aware, how can they possibly be expected to change?

"They may forget what you said-
but they will never forget how you made them feel."
- Carl W. Buehner

What if I just forgive and forget?
What if I avoid a painful conversation?
Does that make me a lesser person
because I would rather avoid confrontation?

"Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave."
- Indira Ghandi

I never loved my first name as a kid.
I remember getting a small, pretty ceramic plaque as a gift- 
I want to say it was from my godmother-
and it had my name on it along with what my name meant.
According to this plaque, 
Kelsey means Brave.